Hakeem Jeffries Reminds Radicals To Hide America-Hating Until After Election Day

A political civil war is rocking the very core of the Democratic Party.

On one side are upstart rebels — Jihadi-loving socialists who hate America and want to drag it down to destruction. On the other side are traditional moderate Democrats, Jihadi-loving socialists who hate America and want to drag it down to destruction, but would never say so out loud because they’re afraid Americans wouldn’t vote for them.

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Two diametrically opposed philosophies that are actually exactly the same. Two groups that completely agree with each other in a bitter battle for supremacy.

Who will win? The radicals? Or the radicals who lie about being radicals and pretend to be moderates until they get elected and then are radicals? The future of the Democratic Party hangs in the balance.

To find out more, the Daily Wire sent our crack reporter Crackety Crack to speak with Democratic Speaker of the House Hakeem Jeffries, a perilous assignment because Jeffries punctuates every word he says with a meaningless hand gesture and kept cracking our crack reporter Crackety Crack in the face until Crack fell unconscious either from the cracks or just from talking to Hakeem Jeffries.

As far as the cracked crack Crackety Crack remembers, Jeffries said:

The new Democrats are sadly misguided. Sure, we’re all in league with women-oppressing, Jew-killing, gay-hating Jihadis, and we all want to transform America into a third world hellhole while talking about affordability for some reason. But you can’t just go around saying that out loud. If people were ignorant and complacent enough to vote for their own destruction, some evil smiley schmuck-face like Zohran Mamdani would be mayor of New York right now and, trust me, that’ll never happen. You gotta be subtle. You gotta talk complete gobbledygook like “Love is love,” and “No one is illegal.” The kids eat that crap up. Then they vote for you. You win. THEN you ruin everything.

On the radical side, there’s Daraliza Avila Chevalier, who’s a PhD if PhD stands for Pin-Headed Dame. Pin-Headed Chevalier said:

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A new generation of Democrat is rising up who’s not afraid to say that we’re going to screw up the lives of every single idiot who’s stupid enough to vote for us. It simply isn’t fair that Americans are letting Elon Musk get rich by building rockets to Mars, while Africans are languishing beside crocodile-infested rivers picking flies off their children’s faces as they starve to death. We want a fair world in which crocodiles watch everyone languish and starve to death. That’s what socialism is all about. So vote for us.

PhD Chevalier did run into a potential scandal when it was revealed that she had posted on social media, “America is an effing disgrace,” and “I wipe my hands on the American flag,” But in a noon press conference, Chevalier explained that she had matured since she had made that post at 11:30 a.m. and would now phrase it differently by repeatedly underlining the words “effing disgrace,” and wiping her ass on the flag instead of her hands. Her apology caused her popularity to rise 20% with Democrats who think the “Super Mario Galaxy” movie is a documentary.

Chevalier also defended a plank in the socialist platform that declares, “We hate Jews.” PhD Chevalier said, “Criticizing Israel is not antisemitism, and when we say we hate Jews, we are criticizing Israel, because they have so many Jews there, and we hate those people.”

While some Democrat strategists feel the rise of openly America-hating, jihad-loving communists may damage the election chances of moderates who aren’t America-hating, jihad-loving communists until after Election Day, Democrat National Committee Chairman Mohammed Stalin Jihad Tucker Mohammed says a new generation of Democrats will carry the red tide forward.

Mr. Tucker Mohammed said:

There is a new generation of idealistic young people who sit in Starbucks using their iPhones to post videos on YouTube about how corporations must be destroyed. It’s hard to even find words to describe what a bunch of empty-headed ignoramuses these morons are. But unless they get a brain transplant, they will surely vote for the destruction of everything they take for granted, so the Democratic Party is in very good shape for the midterms.

Read more Hakeem Jeffries Reminds Radicals To Hide America-Hating Until After Election Day